A very naughty, very adult, hilarious short about Kid Christmas, Santa's replacement, who is kidnapped and must find his way back to the North Pole before it's too late.
-Review by Cindi
Santa Claus dies while breaking up a fight between drunken elves. The Committee to Oversee the Christening of Kringle (or COCK for short) must meet to find his replacement... quick. Since the fat, unhealthy guy didn't work out so well (and he had gotten slower and more clumsy as time went on.. he almost got caught in a cookie and milk trap!) COCK decides to go for a younger, more fit person for his replacement. The Kid (also known as Kid Christmas) is chosen because he is young, fit and looks good in the tight, red uniform. The sleigh is replaced with the Claus 3000, reindeer are laid off and there will be no more HO HO HO!s as the Kid replaces that phrase with Hell yeahs!
Not long before Christmas, the Kid is kidnapped to prevent him from delivering toys to kiddies all around the world. His kidnapper is the evil Snow Globes (there are a couple of reasons why he is called Snow Globes). ;)
He must get through Snow Globes, a fully erect snow penis, the Thousand Dildo Army, the Abdominal Snowman and the Slightly Less Abdominal Snowman and various others in order to make his way back to the North Pole. He meets Johnny Longjohns who helps him make his escape. He must overcome many obstacles to finally get back where he needs to be in order to save Christmas.
Of course, he has sex with everyone (and everything) he comes in contact with. Did I mention that Kid Christmas is a big ho? He has a bountiful booty who is worshiped by all, including the Kid himself. He finally makes his way back to the North Pole and finds a bit of love (not just that kind) along the way.
It's no secret that I am a huge fan of Eric Arvin. I have loved every single book or short of his that I have read (someday I will read them all... really!) I literally push him and his books on anyone who will listen (and to some who won't). He has a warped sense of humor (I mean that in a good way of course) and that shows big time in this book. This is a hilarious story that has lots and lots of sex thrown in. Oh, did I mention the illustrations? Yep, there are (quite graphic) illustrations throughout the book which made it that much better. I found myself laughing quite a bit while watching Kid Christmas do his thing (and he does his thing often) in order to get back home. The narrator/author comments throughout were funny as hell.
A very entertaining (and funny) read.