Crack The Darkest Sky Wide Open (Anthology), Various Authors

An excellent anthology by an amazing group of authors.  Some are my all-time favorites.  Some are new to me.  Each story is unique and not more of the same.

- Review by Cindi

The Demon of Jericho by Eric Arvin

A nice, yet creepy story about an angel sent to save a town from a monster.  The cast of characters are all entertaining and I fell in love with one of the mains, Jeb. He's sweet and he's simple and he's an amazing character.  The angel, Goshen, appears at the perfect time to save the town and its inhabitants from what occurs during the Winter Solstice.  Saying anymore would give the story away.

Well written.  The characters are perfect.  There is a creep factor as well as a bit of gruesomeness.  Great story.   It's Eric Arvin.  Enough said.

A Cruel Thing by Abigail Roux

A fictional story about love, loss and sacrifice based on actual events of World War II.  This story is told by a surviving Marine to an author of a future book based on the battle of Wake Island.  It is extremely heartbreaking as well as heartwarming in places.  I am not ashamed to say that this one brought me to tears.  You are actually taken into the battles of those horrific days. You feel the pain as those are lost and rejoice for those who aren't.   It is also a story of long-lasting love, friendship and acceptance.  An outstanding story.  

Wrong by SJD Peterson

The title to this one is fitting.  I ended this story not sure what to think.  On one hand I want to say "What the hell did I just read?" and on the other I want to say the author is brilliant for such a warped and disturbing story.  One would have to read it to understand exactly what I mean. Two men play a sick and twisted game in the name of business.  It's brutal.  It's violent.  It's disturbing on so many levels.  The ending was expected as I could see that coming early on.  That did not take away from the story in any way.  I am still (long after finishing it) not quite sure how I feel about it as a whole.  I do have to say, however, that the writing is excellent and I totally got sucked in from the very beginning.  This one definitely is not for everybody.

Anguish by Jason Huffman-Black

Like the story before this one, the title is ideal for this particular short.  Only a few pages, the anguish of one man is laid bare for all to see.  When it ended, for a brief moment I wished for more but then I realized that the author said exactly what needed to be said in those few words. Had it been even a few pages longer the impact would not have been the same. A sad, yet well-written story about one reaching his limit and believing there is only one option left.  

The Hotel Luz by S.A. McAuley

Two teenage boys share an on again, off again relationship until they both graduate high school and go in different directions.  One is arrogant, a bit full of himself.  The other worships the ground he walks on. This tells the story of both over a period of years with the men reconnecting sporadically over that time.  New loves, new lives... families... all are part of each man's life...  separately,  but the feelings remain for their first love.

Old love, old memories, a lot of what-ifs.  But in the end will the two men reconnect for good or continue as they are?  This is an excellently written story and I definitely did not see that ending coming.  Saying anymore than that would give it away.  A very enjoyable read.

(Reviewer note: I'm aware the guys in the gif are young compared to those in the story.  Look at these guys.  Wouldn't you have used this one too?)  ;)

John & Jackie by TJ Klune

This is a love story spanning seventy-one years.  Told over a series of recounted stories and memories, the reader is allowed to watch as John and Jackie meet at the young age of twelve and follow along as they become friends and then lovers a few years later.  Not just lovers.  John and Jackie are soul mates and this is evident from the moment they meet. Now both are eighty-three and one is close to the end of his life.  John and Jackie have been inseparable for decades.  It has always been just John and Jackie.  To say I cried would be an understatement. You know early on how the story will play out so the emotions are constant the entire time you are reading.

I have read all of TJ Klune's books.  I always read them on the day of release.  I have loved them all but John & Jackie?  I have to say this is his best work.  I said that when I finished Into This River I Drown but I think John & Jackie has taken over that spot for me.  This is one of the most touching and sweet love stories I have ever read.  You feel the heartbreak.  You feel the love.  You feel it all. The ending is brilliant.

I know going into this author's books that I will no doubt shed a few tears.  He is good at drawing on your raw emotions.  But never would I have dreamed that I would have one get to me like this one.  Kudos TJ for another beautifully written story.  You write true love well.

***

Overall, an outstanding anthology by a collection of very talented authors.  Some stories are disturbing. Some are sappy sweet.  Some are out there. Some will have you crying like a baby. But in the end each one is very entertaining. Normally I rate stories individually in anthologies.  I am not doing that in this case because each story is unique.  Do not miss the foreword by Eric Arvin and make sure you keep reading after the end of the last story to see a bit about each author.  You won't be disappointed.

My overall rating:  4.75 out of 5 stars.

The South Side Tour Guide, Shelter Somerset

***Do not read if you have a problem with spoiler-ish reviews.  Certain things are listed that one might call spoilers.  Keep that in mind before reading this review.***

- Review by Cindi

After being unemployed for a year, Andrew (Andy) Wingal starts his own company driving tourists to the seedy part of Chicago night after night where they can witness real crime in real time.  It's dangerous but it pays very well and he has no shortage of customers.  He has a tricked out, bulletproof van that keeps the tourists and himself safe for the most part.  Popular with those eager to see crime up close and personal, he is not with the local police department.  One member of the police force is Andy's boyfriend (I use that term lightly), Ken.  Ken is controlling, he's in the closet and he's a brute.  From the onset, I was not sure what to think about Ken and Andy's relationship but more comes to light later when Ken does something I found to be odd.  He is in the closet.  He and Andy never go anywhere together because Ken wants to keep his sexuality a secret but yet he does something later that goes against all that.  

When one of Andy's tours puts him in a bad position with the police department, he is ordered by Ken to leave for awhile until the heat dies down.  He takes off to visit his former brother-in-law who he hasn't seen in over three years since something happened with Andy's sister, Lillian.  Harden and Lillian had two children.  Mason is eleven and Olivia is seven.  Harden and the kids accept "Uncle Andy" without question and he quickly becomes part of the family once again though the housekeeper hates him on sight.  It doesn't take too long before Andy and Harden become close friends and later, more.

Harden has had a hard time being a single parent.  He has a job he hates, a housekeeper and a coworker who have the hots for him and two demanding children.  He is stressed to the max with no end in sight until Andy comes to visit.  Suddenly, the children are happy and Harden feels like he can breathe again.  He still hates his job but suddenly his life is more bearable.  

I found this to be enjoyable but there were a few things that had me shaking my head and a couple that bothered me. 

-  I love books that have children in them and Mason and Olivia are written well.  

-  I did not like the housekeeper at all and could not understand why she, as a paid employee, was allowed to act the way she did toward Andy, a family member and guest.  

-  Harden has never been with a man before and still lusts after women but yet he jumps right into a sexual relationship with Andy without thought or reservations ... and with zero prep... ever.  

-  I never felt the relationship between Andy and Mason.  I felt the friendship, a little sex,  but nothing more.

-  Ken is a bastard and this is obvious from his introduction.  However, he and Andy are still in a relationship when Andy begins a sexual relationship with Harden.  Also, there is a matter of a kiss that Harden gave Andy years earlier when Harden was still happily married to Andy's sister.  The explanation (later) bothered me.  When asked by Andy why he had kissed him all those years ago,  "Who knows," Harden said, shrugging and sniggering, "maybe that's why I did it.  Lilly's pregnancy made her less affectionate."   Anyone reading that statement who knows me at all will know that angered me.  Blame the wife (who was only a few feet outside the door at the time) for your wanting to kiss her brother?  Because she's pregnant?  That kind of ranks up there (to me) with "My wife doesn't understand me..."

- This is a rather long book and at times came across as mundane, routine.  There is a lot of telling without showing.  Even with the cheating thing, I did find myself rooting for Harden and Andy but I could never fully grasp their relationship as being anything more than friends with benefits.  The children added a lot to the story... perhaps too much as each and every detail of their days and evenings are described in detail.  

-  In the beginning, Harden's days as a single father are described in detail right down to his frustration over every little thing with his children.  I have no doubt the author was working toward gaining sympathy for Harden because of his stress of new single fatherhood on top of a demanding job and other obligations.  Instead, what he got from this reader was the thought "Women (and a lot of men) do this every day.  Buck up and do what you're supposed to do or find someone else to do it for you."

-  I like the mystery of Lillian, Harden's wife.  A lot is alluded to but what happened to her three years prior is not revealed until a bit into the book.  

Overall, I did enjoy this book even with the issues mentioned above. I was able to get beyond the cheating thing (for the most part) though that is usually game-over for me.  I do wish I would have felt the relationship more.  Andy's Chicago issues get resolved quickly as well as the Ken situation.  The ending was eased into without any type of major event... it just happened.    Nice cover.

My rating:   2.5 out of 5 stars.

This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press in exchange for a fair and honest review. 

Andrea at the Center, J P Kansas

A full-on erotica, not romance, this book caters to many varied erotic/kink tastes.

-Review by Kazza K

Andrea is kidnapped whilst out jogging.....beware the white van. When she wakes up she is greeted by strangers in a place she is unsure of. The Centre. She's told that she won't be harmed, in fact she'll be happy. That a note has been left, in her hand writing, to make sure the people in her life believe she has gone on holiday, to find herself. At first she is scared but soon she starts adjusting.

Emmy is her appointed Big Sister, the person who helps her find her way and help ease her into life there. Pretty soon they forge a strong connection including sex. Shortly after meeting Emmy, and their initial time together, Andrea has a long photo shoot in various sexual poses, initially timid and then enjoying the flirtation with the camera, feeling like she is a temptress and hot. Before you know it Emmy videos Andrea masturbating and then Emmy and Andrea together. Then they are off to the Centre's sexy strip club - each night features different strippers  - men for women, women for men, women for women, men for men, a free for all.

Everybody at the Centre works. Initially Andrea works in the library, then in a barbershop. She goes from sharing a room with Emmy to a dorm, and further, but they stay attached. There are two groups within the Centre - voluntary and involuntary - those who choose to be there and those who are kidnapped, like Andrea. I must say that Andrea takes to her new 'life' like a duck takes to water. Meanwhile she has dreams about Michael, that also feature others. They become more intense, in depth, and titillating as time progresses. Andrea at the Centre is a purely erotic piece of writing. It is not a romance. It has something for everyone -

Exhibitionism

Voyeurism

F/F - sex, self masturbation, mutual masturbation

M/F/F - everyone all in

M/F

M/M

Cross dressing

Spanking - the naughty office worker, other women, Andrea, men

Fetishes - foot fetish, urophagia. and more

Toys - ben wa balls, double phalluses, strap-ons- women on women, women on men

Mistress/slave - collar. leash, group humiliation

My only issue is that I just wish the world cock was used instead of penis. This book is erotica and the use of the word penis always stood out as too formal to me -

She looked up to see Kurt holding his erect penis as he spanked her.

For me, at the heart of the story is the fact that sex can be liberating for a person or it can be something to make a person uptight, rigid and bound by a society's conventions. One thing is for certain, Andrea had grown by the end of the story, irrespective of what you think has occurred. And she was looking at things, people, with a new perspective.

I'm a bit unsure how to rate Andrea at the Centre. It certainly caters to a variety of sexual tastes, desires, taboos even, and it delivers a full-on piece of purely erotic writing. I would have to say that while there are different couplings - it most certainly is a sexually fluid erotica read - it did have a leaning towards F/F content. It isn't easy to write over 200 pages of sexual experiences, all a bit different, catering to varied tastes, so for that I will give it

4 sexed-up stars

A Casual Weekend Thing, A.J. Thomas

One of the best debut novels I have ever read.

- Review by Cindi

Doug Heavy Runner was an openly gay police officer in Miami when he was forced back home to the Salish-Kootenai Indian Reservation in Montana when his mother got ill and later died.  Two years later he is the only nonwhite deputy in the small police force in Elkin, Montana and is forced to prove himself day in and day out because of his race.  His sexuality is hidden as exposing it to even one person would add to the difficulties he already faces each day. Doug is also the leader of a search and rescue volunteer group.

Christopher Hayes is an openly gay San Diego police detective.  In his early thirties, he has spent the past two decades running from an abusive past.  He has created a new life for himself and has left his past behind. His brother, Peter, was a pedophile who prayed on young people with one of them being Christopher when he was only a preteen.  Christopher has been running in more ways than one. He is an ultra marathon runner who uses his running as a sort of therapy. He has a handsome but straight partner, Ray, on the police force who he has secretly been in love with for four years.  He knows Ray is straight as the man is constantly parading his latest one-night-stands in front of Christopher.  Either way Christopher knows better than to get involved with someone who is supposed to watch his back so he keeps his fantasies and feelings to himself.  

During a search, Doug must rappel down a mountain to retrieve a suicide victim who turns out to be Peter Hayes, an ex con who has been living in Elkin.  Seasoned officer or no, Doug is disturbed by the state of the body and markings that are cut into the man's arms.  The disturbing feeling gets worse when Doug must go to Peter's house and walk inside.  The smell inside the house is disgusting.  Attached to the front door there is an envelope from the dead man addressed to his little brother, Christopher.  There is no contact information for Christopher... only a suicide note addressed to him and a quickly written will leaving everything to the man. Unable to find this person, it is left up to the local Sheriff (and Doug's boss) to locate him to come and identify the body and deal with his estate and remains.  

Christopher has been recovering from a gunshot wound received in the line of duty.  He is unable to return to work until he is cleared by his physician.  This is not likely to happen anytime soon so when his superior informs him of his brother's death he makes a trip to small town Montana, fighting it every step of the way.  He hated his brother with every fiber of his being and was not even aware the man had been released from prison.  A few hours outside of Elkin where his brother's body is, he stops at a hotel and decides to check out a local gay bar.  There he meets Doug, the only person in the bar older than early twenties.  It doesn't take long before the men are in Christopher's hotel room and spending the weekend together in bed.  The weekend ends and no contact information is exchanged.  It was a casual weekend thing.  Little does each man know but they will be forced together in a big way in only a matter of days but in an official capacity instead of personal.

This begins the absolute craziness of one of the best books I have read this year.  There is more to Peter's suicide than meets the eye and it is left up to Doug, Christopher and various FBI agents to discover the secrets the man took to his grave.  It's discovered early on that Peter was a horrible, horrible human being.  The author does not shy away from what he did in his past nor does she gloss over much.  Everything is there for the reader to see within reason. There are small town politics, racism aimed at Doug, a psychotic ex, a partner (Ray) who the reader will despise one minute and be laughing at the next.  There is a lot of mystery, a lot of violence including a couple of hospital visits and a kidnapping.  And through it all there are Doug and Christopher who can't seem to keep their hands off each other.  The sex is hot as hell and the chemistry between the two men is scorching.  As the mystery behind Peter's secrets starts to come to light, there are quite a few casual weekend things.  Each man begins to feel something strongly for the other but know that a relationship is not doable with both living in different parts of the United States.  It takes one almost dying before they finally get it together and admit that they both want more regardless of their living locations.

There is so much more that I can say about this book but I'm choosing not to.  In no way would I want to spoil this for other readers.  I absolutely fell in love with Doug and Christopher. Both are so stubborn but the reader is able to see why almost immediately.  Ray, Christopher's partner, I mentioned.  I wanted to hate him so bad and I did for part of the book but later on he had me laughing out loud.  There is a cast of secondary characters that are integral to the story.  The mystery is written perfectly and I admit that it took me long into the book for me to figure it out. Normally I can figure these things out early on which is one of the reasons this book was so good for me.  I consider a book to be outstanding when I can say "I did not see that coming" more than once.  Christopher is ADD and it was charming in so many ways.  His running is not just a means to stay in shape.  It's an addiction and it literally keeps him sane.  Doug is an all around nice guy who wants happiness but feels that it is beyond his reach.  Throw the two men together and it's perfect.

I highly, highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a hot romance, a good mystery and who do not mind a few cringe-worthy situations.  It is an excellent book.  The title is perfect and so fitting for the story.  This quickly jumped on my list of all-time favorite books. I will be seeking out anything this author puts out in the future.

My rating:  5 out of 5 stars.  

This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Denying Yourself, Silvia Violet

- Review by Kazza K

Shane and Matt became best friends at school and now they've finished school that friendship has continued. Shane is openly gay. Matt has always seemed straight, but he isn't, there are signs of more than friendship with/for Shane. Shane is adopted and his parents know there is a possibility that Shane is part wolf shifter but they don't tell him. When he shifts it's all too much for his parents, on top of Shane being gay. They want him gone and shoo him out the door like a dog - so they're not up for any parent-of-the-year awards. Matt's parent's are somewhat better although his father was worried about his son hanging out with the local gay - small town and all - but his mother smoothed the way.

Shane wants to leave their small town and he wants Matt to go with him. Matt is conflicted, he loves his parents. he doesn't mind working on their farm but he doesn't want to loose Shane. Besides Shane has dangled the "you can become what you have dreamed of if you leave" carrot in front of Matt. Matt has always liked cooking and would like to take that further. So he decides to leave with Shane. At this stage I didn't like Shane terribly, I thought his adoptive parent's awful but I thought Shane selfish dragging Matt away.

Shane wants Matt. There has been contact between them, including a kiss. Matt isn't gay, isn't gay, isn't gay - say it long enough and someone might believe it. Shane can't deal with his shifter self, his gay self, and his desire for Matt, who he knows is gay but so far in the closet he can visit Narnia. So Shane drinks excessively. Matt looks out for him but it all becomes too much. Then, one day, Matt cracks and fesses up that he has been thinking about that kiss they shared. A lot. They have sex, Shane starts changing - Matt freaks out - he's not gay, and shit, WTF just happened to Shane? Shane freaks out...and off he runs. He keeps running to Atlanta where he is more and more heavily into alcohol, and sex to get alcohol. He nearly starves and freezes to death after about a year or so living like this until a stranger, who we learn is Carl, comes along, literally picks him up, and carries him off to shifter rehab. Shane stays, gets cleaned up and makes himself a better person/shifter bit by bit with his mentor, Carl. He now works out at a lodge in the forest, with a pack of shifters, Carl is their alpha and Shane starts caving/working with wood again. But he doesn't stop craving alcohol. Nor does he stop craving Matt. So the book looks at the rather tempestuous relationship between Shane and Matt, as well as their individual problems over about a five year period. 

I really wanted to like this book. I thoroughly enjoyed Fitting In, but Denying Yourself just didn't work so well for me. There was a lot of telling, not so much showing. I didn't gel with either of the two main characters. The book really did suffer from only one POV, Shane's. Matt needed a voice here as well, desperately. There is an extensive time period covered and the one POV didn't help, it made the book feel lopsided. Every now and then there was a recap of things that had happened in the book which bothered me - Shane was a gay, alcoholic, werewolf, the reader knows this from reading. Matt's closeted, we know. And speaking of Matt, because his POV is not here, the reader didn't get to see him come out of his closet. His behaviour also did (seem to take) such a 360 degree turn from an innocent, sweet young man to an angry, pessimistic, slightly older, young man. I could believe this, perhaps, if I had been in his head, but I wasn't so it just seemed to be a sudden change for me. For the reader time passed with Shane but not with Matt. In the last 20% they both grew a bit more on me because they were suddenly interacting with one another. You could see some development of their relationship at this stage. By then it was too late for me. The whole Carl-liking-Shane side story was not developed properly either, it seemed tacked on, which was a shame, it had potential to ramp things up a bit.

I really didn't like it when Shane turned up to the restaurant he knew Matt was managing to see how Matt was, ask for forgiveness for his drunken behaviour, as well as running off with no word. Here he encounters Karen, the assistant manager, who knows who he is when he tells her he is a friend of Matt's. She gets all feisty with him on behalf of Matt, accusing him of nearly "killing Matt." Why should she let him see Matt? Shane then proceeds to tell her, a complete stranger, with attitude, very personal information about himself. Then, next thing you know, she is now rooting for him. Things go pear-shape again between the two - Matt isn't gay, pushes Shane away - and I was sighing.

Overall this book did not work for me. But others may fall for Shane and Matt and love the shifter theme here. It is an easy book to read. There is no great world building or information overload in relation to Shane's werewolf side, or pack. The fact that Shane is an alcoholic wasn't brushed aside like it was nothing. It is also a friends-to-lovers theme, which is very popular, and there is a pretty good sex to story ratio with a HEA. So, whilst it was not for me, it may well appeal to others.

2.5 stars

This book  was supplied to me by the publisher, Dreamspinner Press, in return for an honest review

A Betting Man, Sandrine Gasq-Dion

- Review by Cindi

Kent Samson is a high-powered advertising executive in New York.  He's got it all:  the high salaried job, the expensive apartment, more money than he can ever use and his choice of gorgeous women in his bed. Originally from a small Alabama town, Kent has shed the southern accent and everything pertaining to his old life... including the parents that he hasn't been to visit in five years.  There is still contact but no visits to the town that he could not get away from fast enough.

Terry Barron is a bicycle messenger in New York. Originally from a wealthy family in England, he took off when his parents could not accept his homosexuality and began parading eligible women in his face at every opportunity.  He has created a new, simple life and never wants to go back to his old one.  Terrance became Terry.  He uses the wages from his messenger job to get by, never touching the family money, and he's happy as a result.  

Kent and his business partner, Blaine, have a bet.  Blaine bets Kent that he can not make the next person who walks in the office fall in love with him.   He has to date the person (male or female), make the person fall in love within six months and then he will have won the bet.  The last time Kent didn't take one of Blaine's bets he ended up in jail for the night so he figures what the hell?  How hard can it be?  Kent has the looks of David Beckham, a lot of money and a great body.  It will be a cinch, right?  Unfortunately, Kent isn't expecting the next person to walk in to be a male bicycle messenger.  A hot bicycle messenger.  The only experience Kent has had with a man to this point is playing silly college games with Blaine years ago so he must pull out all the stops to pretend to show interest in the messenger who turns out to be Terry.  A quick date leads to another and real feelings become involved... with both men.  Unfortunately the bet is still hanging over Kent's head and Terry has yet to come clean about who he really is.  All of this comes to a head toward the end when all is revealed in a dramatic way.

Parts of this story I enjoyed, parts not.  The relationship between Kent and Terry is based on deception on both parts.  I knew this going in so I was able to overlook that.  Kent is just not a good guy until long into the book.  He is ashamed of his roots, his family, his upbringing.  That bothered me.  Terry running away from his family is understandable but not his deception with Kent.  During one specific part of the story, Kent and Terry take a trip to Alabama to meet Kent's parents for reasons that are mentioned in the book.  All who know me know that southern-speak is one of my major pet peeves in books and the entire visit is filled with it and not necessarily in a cute way.  I live in Mobile, Alabama... born and raised.  Most who follow this blog and my reviews know this.  So to see Alabamians written where they come across as silly and uneducated bothers me in a big way.  Not one sentence of silly southernism dialogue was necessary in my opinion.  Throw in an occasional y'all or something along those lines if you feel the need to, but don't throw in ridiculous sentences that even I, a true southerner, almost needed help in interpreting.  This literally dropped my rating of this book by a star.

There are a few things that I did like.  I absolutely adored Kent's parents.  Unlike most books set partially in the south, these parents are not homophobic and accept their son and Terry as a couple.  They were fun to read about if one can overlook the dialogue. I enjoyed Spencer, Terry's boss, and Kent's executive assistant Anna.  I also love that the book is told in alternating points of view with Kent and Terry alternating chapters.  

Overall, a nice story.  It takes a bit for Kent and Terry to get their happily-ever-after but they do find it with a little help from friends and both sets of parents.  The ending was written very well and not rushed.  Aside from what I mentioned above, an enjoyable read.  Two of the secondary characters had instant chemistry.  I hope to read their story some day.   

I love the cover.

My rating:  3 out of 5 stars.

This book was provided by Wilde City Press in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Chase the Storm, V M Waitt

 

Quite the emotional ride. Beautiful, erotic, I could not put this book down.  

-Review by Kazza K

A lovely cover.

Elijah Morgan is nineteen. His father is the VP of a Fortune 500 company, and he's been to the best schools, has everything that money can buy, excluding a warm family unit. But Elijah doesn't feel like he fits in. His parents are never there and when they are they aren't terribly interested. He listens to classical music, not pop, he prefers staying in and reading a book, he is always reading Catcher in the Rye, he is mature beyond his years, he doesn't want to be at an Ivy League University studying business to go into his father's company as is expected. He wants to be at a smaller university studying music. He also doesn't like waiting in the hallway for his Harvard room mate, Trent, to finish sexing up his latest girlfriend, and the attempts to get him to do the same. Oh, yes....and he is gay. Guaranteed to make a self conscious teen feel out of place when your family - parents and grandparents - have other ideas for you -

Every day I lived a lie, more suffocating than the day before. I was lying to my family, myself and the world. Harvard wasn't for me, the money wasn't me, studying business wasn't me, girls weren't for me. Each night I hoped for a way to escape, and each morning I woke up and faced it all over again.

Summer break is coming and rather than going home to work in the business, as demanded, Elijah sees a chance to find his own path. Fortuitously he notices a red 1965 F-100 for sale and he is smitten. He pictures himself on the highway finally landing somewhere he can be free to do what he wants. No parents demands, no business, no using their money, no annoying room mates, just an escape along the path of his choosing....for Summer break at least. Elijah ends up in Nebraska, a small town called Arthur, to be precise, after his F-100 well and truly breaks down. Mike, the local mechanic, tells Elijah he's looking at a good two weeks to get the truck fixed. Fortunately the McKenzie farm is in need of a ranch hand, board included, and, with no real alternative, Mike drops Elijah off.

Chase McKenzie is something to behold. A cowboy in his prime, sexy, buff, in a way that years of farm work has a habit of doing to a body. He has no shirt on and is working when Mike drops Elijah off and Elijah thinks that Chase is the sexiest thing he has every seen. Right from the get-go Chase is neither approachable nor friendly. Basically he is gruff, abrasive, curt, snarky, intolerant of city boys who'll leave within days. He doesn't speak much, but when he does it's to bark out instructions that  need to be understood quickly. Time is money on a farm that is not exactly raking in the big dollars. He is, however, gentle with his horses, which he buys, trains, and on-sells. All except Admiral, who is definitely not for sale and is off limits to Elijah. The only thing that Chase shares with Elijah is that the photos he has around the house are of his partner Owen. And, yes, he is gay, if Elijah has a problem with that he can leave. Elijah confesses to Chase that he is gay, first time he has said this to anyone.

As time passes Elijah works hard and does what is instructed, learns the ropes, but Chase does not let Elijah into his life, apart from his gruff ways he is enigmatic and private. He does, however, cook meals for them both. And every Sunday evening, like clockwork, Chase gets dressed up and rides off on Admiral, not returning until much later. Elijah wonders if there is a lover he visits. Is it something to do with Owen? It is no great secret that something has happened to Owen - he's left or he has died. There is too much anger and sadness around Chase for there be anything else, for the reader it is easy to know which of the two it is. Elijah, however, thinks Owen may be away but as time passes he thinks maybe they have split up.

Five weeks have passed on the ranch, Elijah is still there and Chase is more approachable, less gruff, he is even teaching Elijah to ride one of the horses, Lakota. Then Mike shows up to tell Elijah his car is ready. On the way back to the garage Mike inadvertently lets Elijah know that Owen died in a car crash three years ago and it has all but destroyed Chase, they were devoted to one another, even had a commitment ceremony. Chase reacts oddly to the news Elijah's car is ready. You know he has grown closer to him and he is sure Elijah is going to leave now. When Elijah returns Chase is nowhere to be found, coming home after midnight, drunk -

Unable to stop myself I padded down the hall to his room. Moonlight streamed in, washing over him in a hazy, blue glow. Wearing only briefs, he held a framed picture in his lap, his fingers touching it lovingly as he stared at it, his tears splashing on the glass as they fell. On the table next to him was a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels.
"I miss you so much." he said, crying softly. Even though I was the only one there, I knew he wasn't talking to me. It was his lover, his husband who he missed so much. 
"I wish you were here, babe. This would be so much easier if you were here..." he said in a drunken voice.
"I don't know...what to do. Tell me what to do...," he asked Owen's ghost. 
The man sitting there wasn't the one who snarled orders or shouted at me for messing up.
Sitting in the chair was a broken man.

Elijah is this mature, sweet, tolerant, patient, old-before-his-years, yet still innocent character that I couldn't help but love. He reminded me of someone I know and I felt so protective of him as I read. I liked the way he grew and developed over the timeframe of this book. He doesn't want meaningless sex he wants it to be with someone who cares...maybe I was old fashioned, but I didn't want to fuck just anyone. I wanted to be in love: I wanted it to mean something. I was looking for my forever, not just a one-night stand..... 

Chase would be in his thirties (based on some clues), although his age is not actually dislcosed, a man who has been hurt deeply and can't let go of someone he loved with all his heart. He has ten foot walls around it and he doesn't want to let them down for anyone. People you love die, he gets that, but his true love dying is something he can't get past, feels guilt over, and he lives every day angry-sad-surviving. Along comes this young, good looking teenager who makes him feel again and his heart doesn't want that, yet paradoxically his body and soul need it. He is feeling things for Elijah he doesn't want to feel and when he succumbs to his need, his passion, it is all too much. At the time they are first intimate it is the most beautiful experience Elijah could have asked for - Chase knows that Elijah is a virgin and he is gentle, caring, loving, an experienced, older, first time lover -

For the first time in my life I felt another man's erection against my own. I searched his eyes that so often carefully veiled his emotions and thoughts, only to find them full of need and want as my own....
"I want you," he rasped seductively in a tone I didn't recognise.
He lowered his mouth to leisurely brush my lips for my first kiss....
I wanted everything right then, I wanted to feel him in me, above me, around me, but his pace was languid, unhurried in his experience.....
When he broke the kiss, I opened my eyes and found him staring at me with a rapt look. I'd never seen anything as beautiful as the way Chase's eyes looked with the moonlight reflection in them.
"Touch me," he pleaded.
I wanted nothing more, but I didn't know how..."I've never...."
"I know," he replied. "Let me show you."......
   
In the morning, everything changes. Chase is not in bed with him, hasn't slept with him. He's down with Admiral, Owen's horse, pouring out his heart and guilt -

Even without knowing him very well, I knew how he felt about his dead husband. I'd seen the love for a ghost and the mourning for a soul mate every day....

It hurt me that he'd left me in his bed to sleep alone, that he couldn't even remain in the house after fucking me.

Even worse, when they come face to face, with Elijah feeling this meant the world to him, Chase is positively frosty. More than that he is nasty and, quite frankly, abusive towards his young lover because you know he feels like he has cheated on the love of his life, dead though he may be.

At this stage I was ready to hit Chase with a frying pan, or any other nearby object. His behaviour towards Elijah was atrocious. I understood the reasons, but it was poor. Elijah, on the other hand, is understanding, knows it is to do with Owen, but eventually even the patient Elijah decides enough is enough, it's time to leave. On the day he is going, to make matters even worse, Chase decides to flaunt the fact that he knows how much Elijah cares for him - he's older, he knew early on the impact he had on Elijah - he decides to show him his sexual power with a nasty bit of grind in the stables, which confuses Elijah even more - maybe Chase does want him, if he wants him physically then perhaps the heart will follow, right? Pretty standard for a young, inexperienced heart joined with an optimistic mind and a burgeoning love.

There is much that follows but my review is long enough. Basically, Elijah is besotted with Chase and Chase is falling for Elijah, no matter how hard he might try to fight it -


"You're beautiful," he whispered against me.....

What?" I encouraged, leaning closer.
His eyes drifted to mine, and, with fragileness in them, he exposed his thoughts.
"Sometimes I wonder if maybe he sent you to me."
I didn't know how to respond, so I kissed his chest and held him closer.

Only, Chase is always encumbered with guilt, but there is change and Chase and Elijah grow more and more close over the months that Elijah is on his farm, but Harvard looms large for Elijah, whether he wants to admit it or not. Elijah is adamant that he is not going back, he's staying in Nebraska with Chase. He loves the farm lifestyle, the horses, the quiet. He loves Chase. But Chase has decided that is not going to happen. Chase may have had life's circumstances and events set his life's path on his farm in Arthur, Nebraska, but Elijah is young with the world at his feet. Chase wants him to get an education, find his own path, experience and enjoy his life. He believes that he is too young to make a decision to stay, knowing one day he may well resent that decision, resent Chase, no matter what he feels now.

There is much angst in Chase the Storm. It is two protagonists and a lover's (metaphorical) ghost that drive it, there are no antagonists - other than what the heart and mind can do to someone. The writing is lovely, the words strong, harsh, beautiful, evoking a lot of emotions. The sex is deeply erotic, and, barring the one time Chase gets nasty in the stable, it is always meaningful, it is more than just sex. You only get one POV, Elijah's, but it is the look in Chases eyes, his body language, his words, his actions, so descriptively narrated by Elijah, that lets the reader know how Chase is also feeling during their time together. Chase does some things that annoyed me, he closes down when things get tough, but he also does much right by his young lover.

The book takes place just over a three year period. From when Elijah initially works at Chase's farm until the end. Most of it is set on the farm. Elijah's narrative is mature throughout, but I know nineteen + year olds just like this, so I believed it the whole way through; and done any other way would have made the book intolerable given the story being told.

I love a good character driven story. I love angst, and this is certainly angst-filled. I also love psychological reads, plus I love erotic writing - and there is a bit of that. Chase the Storm ticks all those boxes for me. There are no particular secondary characters. Obviously a relationship doesn't exist in a vacuum, but the secondary characters are fleetingly mentioned - a customer, competitor at an auction, Mike the mechanic, someone checking Chase out, Justin, a boyfriend of sorts - but it is Chase, Elijah and Owen's ghost, and for me, the personality of the horses and their relationship to Chase, Elijah and to Owen, who drive this story.

I loved the wonderfully named Chase the Storm. It is now on my list of favourites for 2013. It took me on a ride. I read it in one sitting, staying up until the early hours of the morning because I couldn't, wouldn't put it down.  I can't give it any higher praise than that.
I felt strong emotions as I read, I was emotionally engaged -  at times I wanted to slap Chase, then hold him near, I wanted to tell Elijah to leave, run far away, then I wanted him to stay. Even though the overriding desire for me was to see Elijah stay with Chase I wanted him to do a bit more with his life...but I wanted him with Chase. By the end of the book I was incredibly happy with the outcome.

5 Beautiful Emotion-Filled Star 

"Only yours," I vowed.

Right then, I could never imagine sharing myself with anyone else, but time might allow the piercing pain to morph into a constant dull ache, and if it did, and if I was ever physical with another man, I knew for certain he would merely have my body because my heart would always only belong to Chase. 


This book was supplied to me by the publisher, Dreamspinner Press, in return for an honest review.