Born to be Wilde, G A Hauser

Oooh, G A Hauser pushed all my hot buttons with this book....and I LOVED  it!

- Review by Kazza K

Born to be Wilde is about Jesse James Wilde, or JJ, a level two offender/inmate at the Salinas Valley State Prison in California. He received 12 years for narcotics distribution but had his sentence commuted to 6 years for good behaviour; but constantly lives with the threat of his full term being reinstated. When we meet JJ his prison term is in its last months.

The book is also about Michael McClintock, ironically, a probationary corrections officer on his first job and his impact on JJ and, quite frankly, the SVSP in general. He doesn't know whether he's cut out for the job, because he commits the cardinal sin of letting his desires be known for an inmate, that he's gay. He cops heaps of guff from prisoners and peers alike, including "Willy Weiner," a fellow officer who is a sleazy, hypocritical, trouble-making voyeur. All the secondary characters were interesting, including McClintock’s partner, Lloyd Bell, and JJ’s jail buddies, Eric, Arial and his cellmate Corey. I kept laughing at Eric's eating habits and the constant mealtime exchange between Eric and JJ -

"You going to eat those potatoes, JJ?" "No. Here, Eric." JJ scraped them onto Eric's tray.

Eric shrugged. "You going to eat the rest of your eggs?" "No. Here."

"You going to eat that burger?"Eric pointed to JJ's plate.

"You going to eat your Jell-O?" "No. Here" JJ gave it to him.

I will admit this book was slow to begin with. It simply detailed the day in a life of being in prison, and the day in the life of a prison guard. Around 15% through I thought “no way am I going to go the distance on this, this is like reading Big Brother.” I hate Big Brother. I’m glad I hung in there though as it picks up after this. Life in prison is a cycle of sameness with the days seemingly repeated over and over again and G A Hauser sets the tone well. The prisoners and guards all gossip and create dramas; the inmates to break their monotony -

"Who's the new guard?" Arial spoke with his mouth full, "Mike McClintock, fucker's only 22."

Jesse gave him (Michael) a sweet smile and they met gazes. Catcalls immediately rang out -

"Kiss him McClintock! Ya know ya wanna!" "You two lovebirds wanna be alone?" "Let Weiner know when you fuck! He'll want in!"

"Hey lovebirds!" 'Going for some good fag fucking?" "Who takes it up the ass for who?"

You get two POV's in this book. You see JJ's life in prison juxtaposed against Michael's life as a newbie officer as well as his time spent outside the prison walls. You get a strong sense of what's going on inside both MC's heads. How they're both coping in their respective situations, how they're feeling about prison life, about work, about each other, their passion. Their personal feelings towards one another are out there for the reader to see every step of the way. JJ is out as gay, Michael is not, however gossip and his behaviour in the prison drags him out of the closet.

There’s no great social commentary in this book, there’s no real angst, apart from tension caused by a territorial pissing match over JJ between McClintock and Carlos Rios, a gang leader. It had me wondering whether jail rape was going to be on the cards. It also looked at heightened emotions and paranoia developing towards the end of a sentence and how easily an inmate could get an extension on their sentence for someone dragging them into their shit because they can. The sexual encounters between JJ and Michael were off the charts. There is full blown insta-lust in this book. Michael lusts hard-core over JJ from the very moment he sees him. Maybe some other writer might have infuriated me with it, but I just went with GA Hauser and enjoyed the hell out of where she took me. Hooley Dooley, I wanted JJ just because Michael wanted him so bad.

Because of the jail setting, they just can’t be with each other, they have to be creative. The way they touch, tease for a lot of the book drives JJ crazy, it drove me crazy. The inmates are forbidden from wanking-off (amongst other sexual activities), it’s an automatic write-up, along with other penalties, so JJ is melting, and masturbation for Michael doesn’t cut it. When they do have sex - yowzer!!

I think this will be a love or hate book for readers. I don’t think there will be grey areas. Somewhat because of how people view this prison setting, or because of preconceived ideas of prison in general. Mostly, I feel it will be how readers view Michael McClintock – is he abusing his power with JJ? Is he TSTL in the way he ogles JJ, and makes his feelings so obvious? How realistic is he in his prison lust/affair? Can someone get into that many professional scrapes in such a short timeframe? I personally loved Michael, he was so ballsy. He was such a HUGE alpha presence, and the way he looked out for JJ blew me away - did I think a newbie could do all he did? No, but I didn't give a damn, I loved his passion and I enjoyed the ride immensely.

The book covers JJ's time in jail (most of the book), to post jail and has a HEA for those who love their HEA’s. I had a few niggles, but not enough to overtake the love I had for this book. I really loved Michael and got caught up in JJ’s world. I thought JJ was a decent guy who had made a mistake at 20 years of age, which he paid for. I loved them together and although they didn’t really have enough to build a relationship on (one of my little niggles), I didn’t particularly care because they just worked for me. I loved them post jail as much as in jail, although in jail the sex was rougher and so forbidden fruit-ish, mmm, mmm.

I really, really enjoyed this book. I definitely recommend it to M/M lovers. I’ve never read anything by G A Hauser before, but this just grabbed me. I have to fess up about my love of a captive fuck, an interesting alpha male, an alpha and submissive in a captive fuck situation, AND I watch America’s/Russia’s/any where’s Toughest Prisons; so I may be biased as I’m catered to on all fronts by this book. Oh. Yes. I loved the cover, bang on for Jesse James Wilde.

Pure Sex, D J Manly

 

Think I just found another great writer in one of my favourite genres. Loved this book.

- Review by Kazza K

Second D J Manly ebook in twenty four 24 hours for me and I'm totally impressed.  The writing is quite concise yet conveys real feelings.

Pure sex is about Lance, an escort of sorts, who signs a contract with older, rich men to be their sexual partner for a stipulated time period; with the understanding that he provides his service with no love attached. In return he has life's luxuries and comforts come his way. It's all quite official and detached, as Lance does not think much of love and its associated problems. His contract has worked well enough before with an older gentleman, Freddy, who has recently died. Now Lance has to move on and Freddy had suggested Jackson Scott as a potential candidate for Lance's particular skillset and requirements.

Jackson Scott likes attractive men and likes Lance's proposition of sexual favours for a nice lifestyle in return; after all Lance is a very attractive and sexual man. Contract done, but Lance gets a lot more than he bargained for. Jackson is all about partying hard and owning his contracted boy-toy's arse, he makes Jackson feel like a whore and gets him to do anyone, anyway, anytime he likes. All except Jackson's favourite employee and more than occasional favourite Top, Tobias.

Tobias Naso gets paid well by Jackson, needs the money to help care for his sick grandmother who raised Tobias and his sister, Marina. Tobias well and truly earns his money looking after all and sundry - from making sure Jackson gets his orange juice on time, to helping with company work problems, and partying with those Jackson finds it amusing for him to party with.

I liked this book on several fronts. First the sex is just wow, and there are no restrictions/limits. These guys fuck around. Jackson has the money and the ability to have gorgeous men around him and he does so. He makes no excuses for utilising his wealth for what he wants.

Second, I liked the reality of the situation. Lance feels he has control, he doesn't. The man with the money, the house, the lifestyle always calls the shots, no matter how much Lance may feel otherwise. Toby and Jackson clearly highlight this point when Toby discusses his growing feelings about Lance to Jackson -

Toby "I'm not his type. I can't keep him in the lifestyle he's been accustomed." Jackson "And I can, so I win."

Lance's situation becomes complicated because he starts to feel something for Tobias. The feelings are reciprocated, but there is angst attached. Lance is not at all certain what love feels like and doesn't know how to proceed, Tobias feels claustrophobic, caught between his loyalty to Jackson, need to take care of his grandmother, and feelings for Lance. Jackson just plays the men and has a bit of fun.

I actually liked all the main players in this book. Whilst the writing was nice and simple the characters were anything but. They were multi-layered. Yes, it's easy to dislike Lance because of his mostly detached, arrogant manner, but I found him sympathetic. He did not have a track record of ripping off his partners and his childhood was not nice and shiny. Jackson is who he is, if I could have gorgeous bodies around me whenever I wanted I might just do that too. Tobias is a very likeable character stuck in a 'better the devil you know' kind of situation. Tobias added a much understood, human element into the mix.

The only thing that let this book down was the end. In spite of the positive outcome it was rushed. Pure Sex is a steamy read with really interesting characters. Highly recommended.

The Pro, D J Manly

 

Two of my favourites in one book - Rent-boy and cop. Really well written and a damn good read.

- Review by Kazza K

This was an excellent read. I've read three rent-boy books in as many days. This one is the best hands down.

Zach is an emotionally burnt out cop attached to the SFPD, who drinks too much, mornings included, and is obsessed with putting away a man responsible for his waking and sleeping nightmares of a four year old girl that was left for dead and he couldn't save. His 'work' obsession has ended his previous relationship with his partner, Peter, and he's lonely, sexually frustrated, with attitude to back it up.

Lee is a $2,000 a night hooker who's client base is obviously wealthy, including some shady and/or high profile men. Lee has all types and one of the interesting things about this book is observing him in business mode with them. I liked Lee, he's a pretty decent guy who looks at what he does as a form of social work, with good pay. One of his regular clients, Daniel Lebeau, fits into the shady category, and is the man Zach has been obsessed about putting away for the little girls death. Lee is starting to get toey about his job because the word whore starts being bandied about more often now, and he gets shaken up at a client's house one night as well.

Because Zach is constantly on Labeau's case he spots Lee whilst with Labeau and coerces him into being his insider. Lee isn't too keen but he's less keen on Zach's threats to be purposely indiscreet about Lee with Lee's clients, which will effectively leave him a pariah without work.

The dialogue is so good in this book, the snarky Zach and sexy Lee go at it and eventually become lovers, and my lord isn't that steamy. The crime component to the book is excellent; I feel the sex to plot ratio is perfect. The storyline is insta-attraction, but you do get to see a development of the MC's relationship and they don't jump into bed together straight away. I also liked the realistic thoughts from Lee about his clients - some have small penises, one is overweight and living at home with mother, one is dying, some are attractive and so on. Some rent-boy books are all about how wonderful every client is.

I love cop books, I love rent-boy books, although it's hard to get a good one, and this one has both in a well written package, complete with delicious protagonists. It was a good read and it kept me turning the pages wanting to see what was going to happen. The Pro is highly recommended reading.

The Epic Love Story of Doug and Stephen, Valerie Z Lewis

RANDOM AND QUIRKY TO THE MAX. A SHARP PIECE OF WRITING.

- Review by Kazza K

This is a quirky, random, funny book with rather endearing, if not offbeat characters. Therefore I enjoyed the writing immensely.

Doug is thicker than a 2 inch T-bone, he's pretty, models, and makes Derek Zoolander seem like Einstein in comparison (sorry Doug, much love to you though). In Doug’s defence, he does do justice to the axiom that thinking is overrated. He also sees the silver lining around things, sees the good in people, even ‘long-suffering Stephen.’ Oddly, he also listens, and at the most important moments does or says something profound, he doesn’t know it, it just happens. After hearing Stephen say how hurt he's been by being called "a friend" by his ex partner, Phil, to Phil's parents, Doug simply rang his mum, introduced Stephen as his boyfiriend and they had a nice converstation. It was rather beautiful. Stephen had an actual moment of rare and genuine affection and appreciation for Doug -

"Thank you," Stephen repeated. "For being proud of me."

To get full impact you need to read the book. It's like that, there are so many wonderful words and potential quotes, but they are long, and you just can't do them justice in a review.

Stephen is the king of ‘misery loves company.’ He’s convinced he has some depressive disorder, sees the worst case scenario in everything. Hates everyone, himself included. He threatens people dryly with muderer and punching. He is an assistant editor at a Gay magazine, The Flame, yet gets to write fluff about cats in orange swimsuits (I made that up, but that’s the gist of it). He feels the injustice of being a persecuted minority, Stephen's a none-to-happy gay. He loves to read books that pay homage to his suffering and justifies the worst in people and the world. But he’s been hurt, he’s a sensitive soul underneath all his bitter words and thoughts; so he takes absolutely everything to heart.

Doug decides he's going to be gay for Stephen, and boy does he follow through on it. No matter how much Stephen puts him down, snarks at him or carries on, Doug, God bless his innability to hear what's being said, just hangs on in there. I mean they share a deep love of Detective Logan from Law and Order. What more could one want? Oh yes, there's also an intrigue in the book, a corporate scam to investigate, but Doug,Stephen and other characters are really the heart of this book.

Both Doug and Stephen, in particular, are the primary medium for light yet sure social commentary. This is not to say the cast of secondary characters aren't, they most definitely are - inclduing homeless people, a drug dealer, drug buyers, corporate baddies, a photographer, family members and remembered friends.

I loved the observation about the corporate world - one guy is well educated, smart, works hard, but there’s no recognition. Another is pretty to look at, none too smart, incapable of putting more than “the top is itchy” into his, supposed, column that other people stretch out for him, and gets paid for it – welcome to the perplexing world of business.

While this is an extremes-in-character piece of writing, it’s a pretty good satire on life, work, a shitty healthcare system, the lemming mentality; and being middle class and smart doesn't often equate to being happy or right. All done in a humorous way.

My only criticisms would be that the book got a bit bogged down in New York at times, and the ending did the book no favours at all. It literally just stopped.

This is a hard book to classify. It's LGBT at heart, but it's not your stock standard romance, just for the record. What it is is a good piece of writing. Valerie Z Lewis should be proud of what she has achieved with The Epic Love Story of Doug and Stephen. Her observations of people and life are sharp, her general writing witty and clever. If you like quirky and unusual with interesting characters then I highly recommend Doug and Stephen.

Depression, Recognising It.

DEPRESSION PART 1, RECOGNISING IT.

- By Kazza K

I'm posting two blogs on depression - Depression Part 1, Recognising It. Then I will post over the next few days Depression Part 2, Some Helpful Strategies and Ideas to Cope. This is all done within the frame of a friendly blog. I truly dislike depression and I know the stats are around 1 in 5 people at any point in time is suffering from depression. We were talking about it on FaceBook recently and I felt like sharing my thoughts and feelings. I've worked with depressed clients, I've helped depressed friends, and I've suffered depression.

Without rattling on too much about my experience I feel it's important to state that I have suffered depression. I don't mind people knowing, it's nothing to be ashamed of, just for the record. I had the most shocking Post Natal Depression. Basically, it was Post Natal Psychosis. I won't go into all the details, because there are too many things to cover, and it was awful, but let's just say I couldn't cope after my son's birth, at all. I couldn't perform the most basic of everyday activities - like make up formula, feed my child, look after my 7 year old, cook dinner, pull myself together much to stop crying or panicking. I also felt like I wanted to run away - where to I could never say - but my husband caught me trying to escape through the back gate on a number of occasions. I also couldn't sleep, I was lucky to have 3 hours sleep a day which, of course, compounds things. I also kept battling inner voices telling me to "just drop my son" or for me to "stand behing the car" as my husband reversed out of the garage. There was more, but I don't wish to elaborate. I didn't fill my husband in on these horrific, frightening thoughts until I was more lucid, which was quite a few months down the track. My husband knew what a state I was in by and large, and would not leave me alone, at all. We were lucky to be self employed so he could do this for me and for our family. My husband's family were scattered to the four winds, so they couldn't help and my family are best not discussed. After I recoverd from the initial loss of total control and inability to function, I felt like my life amounted to not much more than trying to crawl out of a big black hole, with no footholds anywhere to be seen. Obviously my life got better, I'm a therapist and I've worked with plenty of clients, post my own major depressive episode, but it took years for me to get properly back on my feet again. I'm still prone to depressive bouts, not a lot but they do occur. If you have a severe depressive episode it sometimes has a hangover effect of smaller/ocassional bouts of depression after, but please don't think this is true of everyone; I had a particularly severe psychotic episode. What exacerbates this for me is that I cannot handle any anti-depressants, which, well, sucks, because AD's can be incredibly helpful for people suffering depression, particularly for those with more moderate to severe depression.

Yes, there are degrees of severity of depression, just as there is with anxiety. Together with your therapist and/or doctor you will be able to work out how severe your depression is and what should be done to help you through. Of course, family members are invaluable at knowing how bad things may be for you as they love you and notice details that you maybe too close to to analyse clearly. So below I have a checklist included for you to peruse, this is not meant to replace talking to a professional and it's not all encompassing. People have some different experiences, for example when I had my PND/P I couldn't guage temperature of water or weather, my doctor had not heard of this before. So this list is not to be used as a be all and end all, just a guide if you or someone you know needs it. I'm putting it on this book reviews and therapy blog as a talking point, an assistance not to replace actual professional help -

Depression Checklist

(Just answer yes or no to the following)

For more than TWO WEEKS have you –

1) Felt sad, down, miserable or irritable most of the time?                              

2) Lost interest or pleasure in all or nearly all your usual activities?              

If you answered YES to EITHER of these questions then look at the checklist below –

Behaviours

Stopped going out                                                     

Not getting things done at school/work/home         

Withdrawing from family                                        

Withdrawing from regular friends                           

Stopped doing things you’ve enjoyed                      

Unable to concentrate                                                

More forgetful (than usual)                                       

Thoughts

 “I’m a failure”                                                           

“It’s all my fault”                                                       

“Nothing good ever happens to me”                          

“I’m worthless”                                                          

“Life is not worth living”                                           

“I just want to run away”                                           

"Everyone is better than me"                                      

  

Feelings

 Overwhelmed                                                           

Unhappy, sad                                                             

Irritable                                                                      

Frustrated                                                                   

No confidence                                                            

Guilty                                                                         

Indecisive                                                                   

                    
Physical

Tired all of the time/a lot of the time    
         
            

Sick & run down                                                        

Headaches                                                                  

Muscle pains                                                              

Upset stomach/Diarrhea                                            

Chest pain/pain down the arm (on left side)             

Can’t sleep/Trouble falling asleep                             

Waking in the middle of the night then unable
to get back to sleep                                                    

Can’t get out of bed                                                   

Poor appetite/weight loss                                          

As I said before, there are other things that you may be feeling. For me, I just constantly felt like a complete failure as a mother, amongst harsher thoughts. Everybody else seemed to be cruising along and I was falling apart. I had a lovely baby boy, a wonderful daughter, and a terrific husband, but I was a mess. I also felt like I was watching a movie go by. One day I sat in our car, with my daughter, while my husband took our baby boy to quickly go buy groceries, and I just fell apart as I felt like I wasn't part of the world outside the car. It was like a movie, a horror movie starring me. Also, what can start as poor to no appetite can change into cravings for sweet things. I love music but when I'm depressed I don't listen to it, nor do I sing and I pretty much always sing. So, there are other personal, specific things not on this checklist, but please use it as a general guide.

In the next sheet, Depression Part 2, Some Helpful Ideas to Cope, I will write about some positives,  things to think about, ideas. Remember, with depression you project into the future based on how you feel now. That is a false projection based on your current mood. How you feel now will not always be the way your life will be. This is something I know personally, something I tell my friends and clients -

You start off having mostly bad days, then some good days, then more good days than bad days, then good days rule. This is what happens. You will not always feel depressed. Life will get better. 

Behind Iron Lace, Mercy Celeste

Mercy Celeste writes an erotic, passionate story with cajun heat and soul.

- Review by Kazza K

Okay, there’s going to be an abuse of the word love in this review because I bloody well loved this book! No actual review just my drooling words.

I loved the two MC's, Darcy and Caleb, from the get-go. The secondary characters were excellent, even bitch-face Bailey was so perfectly true of the manipulative mind.

I loved the Cajun and French dialect/language that were used. I come from a country where there is no regional dialect and I love hearing distinct dialect or reading it when well done, as it is here. Do not mistake the lack of my own country's regional dialects as not knowing different dialects and variances within same.

I personally don’t see this book as insta-love. To qualify that further - while there's initial attraction, they did build and share personal feelings on top of that. I loved that build-up between the guys and they didn’t have sex right off the bat.

Darcy was always trying to do the right thing - follow Bailey, make her happy, not disappoint his staff, do the right thing by his readers, never let his mum and dad down, be straight. That’s the right thing to do, isn’t it? Not when you aren’t straight. Not when you’re hiding who you are. When Bailey had a snitty moment with Darcy –

"I thought better of you, Darcy, you’re a nice man –“  “I’m a man, Bailey. I have needs that include sex. I don’t want to be a nice man. I’m tired of being nice, I’m tired of doing the right thing, the responsible thing. I’m twenty-nine fucking years old and I’ve never done anything I want to do. I’ve always done what other people expect of me. My parents, teachers, and then you."

I also do not see this book as a GFY either. I read it as a man who put himself last and had learned to hide his true feelings and identity to the point of becoming asexual. This is then supported by a conversation Darcy had with Amber, an employee and confidant, about his room filled with posters and none of them women, no girly magazines (when growing up) and it was always Bailey who initiated sex when, and after, they got together.

I loved Darcy, he was a nice guy caught up in right and wrong, and loving hot-man-sex when he finally put up the green light. Thank you for that green fucking light.

I loved Caleb - with his dark past, his overt sexiness. Loved his dirty talk. He had lost a lot of important people in his life. He was good at appearing confident, but he was scarred and scared and it made him an interesting character.

Was the book perfect, perhaps no, but I don’t care, because it was full of emotion, hot sex, there was

an age difference, and three dimensional MC’s, whom I adored and were infused with such life and soul. It was also ramped up by the sheer passion that Darcy and Caleb could set free around one another. I am an unabashed Mercy Celeste fan. She mixes her writing up and she never fails the face- melting, window fogging, holy shit! sex I love. However, that’s only part of it, sex without a strong storyline and good characters is meaningless, and I'm never let down by one of Ms Celeste's books on any front. 

What can I say? I love, love, love this book. Once again....love it. It reminds me of Cameron Dane’s writing style, and I have a huge woman crush on Cameron Dane, so....If you haven’t read Behind Iron Lace I’d say grab a copy asap,  I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Dirty Fighters, Kyle Adams

Mmm, Mmm, Mmm. Short and H.O.T!!

- Review by Kazza K


 

 

This is mighty short, but mighty dirty...in the best sense of the word. Cross and Striker = fuckaliciously yummy. Nothing like two guys having a naughty "rematch" UFC style fight in a

private home this time, with a saucy outcome.

Two words to sum this short read up - Naked Combat. If you've seen the videos you'll know what I mean.

Dirty Fighters is a nice, sexy, well written, engaging piece of writing.

Kyle Adams writes a mean short.