How the message on this T-shirt makes me feel.

 

- By Kazza K

Just recently this photo hit my FB page on two separate occasions. The first time I saw it I had an immediate dislike at a visceral or gut-feel level, the actual person posting it thought it was very clever. I didn't comment, I thought  "why rain on someone else's parade" and, basically, I get it -Brokeback Mountain, seminal, mainstream, LGBT  movie, let's have a bit of fun. Then it popped up again this week, through a gay social media site on my FB page, and I experienced the same reaction - I didn't like it, but most comments were positive, people thought it was "funny, cool, awesome, I love Jake Gyllenhaal even more now" and so on. I really wanted to have my say when I noticed a young lady by the name of Terese posted the following - "I might be taking this too personally but I really don't like what that shirt is implying... my own mother thinks that I'm only gay because it is 'cool'. Not a fan of this picture :/" I 'liked' her comment, I really got her POV.

It actually reminded me of a fairly recent interview of Chelsea Handler with Adam Lambert. I watched it because, truth be known, I love his voice, and she stated – “So your gay” which he acknowledged, and that he has a partner now etc. and then she proceeded to say “it’s cool being gay now, right?” I can't remember all of it but she reiterated the fact that it's "cool being gay" again. Adam Lambert let out an uncomfortable half- laugh, was diplomatic but adopted a kind of awkward body language and a ‘you’re kidding me’ look for just a split second,  he didn’t answer the question, she moved on after a moment, but it was a stupid, uncomfortable and flippant question. Let me answer. Yes, Chelsea, it’s always "cool" to be a minority. One that has to be mindful of being bashed when out, has limited legal partner rights, finds it difficult to adopt, has to deal with gay panic laws, has to be in the closet in certain professions, and is currently copping heaps of pressure from right wing bigots in opposition to having the ‘audacity’ to ask for marriage equality. I know there have been some inroads made, but, still it's 2012 and in some parts of the world being gay is a death sentence. "Cool?!"

Which takes me into therapist mode. I've counselled more than a few gay, lesbian and bi clients in my practice over the years, and amongst those 'few' are teenagers. Being a teenager is hard at the best of times, raging hormones, half way between being a child and an adult, expectations, you get my drift. LGBT teens can have some other things to deal with 1) there are the parents who think that their child is going through a "phase" or, more recently, they're trying to be "cool" (as Terese pointed out in her comment) because it's like being emo or eating pizza, they see it as a choice, that their child is somehow trying to fit in, or they're 'seeking attention', that one gets thrown out there a lot. Plus 2) there is often a ton of crap coming your way from peers, family and school, let alone realising you are not what mum, dad, other family members and society says you should be - thinking about/dating boys, if you're a girl, thinking about/dating girls, if you're a boy. I'm not going to speak for everyone, but many within the LGBT community go through a period of self-loathing and confusion for not fitting into society's "norm." If they're lucky they have a decent family to support them through it, or, perhaps, if necessary, good counselling and/or groups where they can meet other LGBT members and feel comfortable and safe.

Anyway, back to the photo, which I believe is well and truly photo-shopped, by the way, but, no matter, the point remains the same from my perspective, I'm with Terese, I don't like it. I believe it sends out the '"cool" or "lifestyle choice" message and I don't and won't ever support that. Am I being narky? I'm sure it's meant to be fun, but it hit a raw nerve with me.

Feel free to add your honest thoughts if you wish, but keep it reasoned and sensible.

Where There's Smoke, L.A. Witt

Another first class read by a first class writer.

- Review by Kazza K

Whilst I don’t love politicians, I do love politics, local and global, and all the rigmarole that accompanies it. I like a good opponent debate, polls, forecasts, stats, strategies and so on and so forth. Mix that in here with an enigmatic, sexy campaign manager and charismatic, caring political aspirant and, for me, this book was gold.

Where There's Smoke is about the Californian Governor's race between a young, up and coming Democratic candidate, from an acting family, with a political uncle, and the current GOP elect.

Jesse Cameron is, basically, a B-grade actor with a law degree from a wealthy, high profile family. He is married to Simone, who is a 2 x Oscar winning actress. We meet them as they are having photos and then an interview, at the behest of his uncle, Roger, for the start of Jesse's political run. Roger wants to spin them as the perfect, happily married couple - they're good looking, wealthy and are living the 'American Dream' – all terrific political material on the surface, but not so true underneath. I really liked Jesse, but he was probably never going to be the political animal that his uncle and others wanted him to be, himself included, because he has a conscience, his family is dysfunctional, but mostly because he's gay.

Anthony Hunter is brought in, by Roger, as the campaign manager for Jesse. Anthony is a seasoned professional and has successfully spearheaded previous campaigns for Roger. Anthony is cynical/pessimistic - politics will do that to you - smokes like a chimney,and is quick at spin-doctoring. Underneath his pessimistic viewpoint beats the heart of an ethical man. I liked Anthony a lot. Whether in reality he could afford to be as ethical, well, I don't know, but it's fiction and it suits him. Anthony just also happens to be gay. He makes it a policy to not sleep with the employer (politicians) but in Jesse's case he feels strong desire, whilst trying not to. I'll put it on record that Anthony is one sexy top and his stolen encounters with Jesse are incredibly hot.

Jesse and Anthony do fall hard for each other, but there is a problem. Jesse is well and truly in the closet, he has to be, he's married and political parties don't like (openly) gay men (or married gay men). Anthony, while not as high profile as Jesse, is very careful, he's employed by the politicians, and is only a couple of steps further to the front of the closet Jesse is in. So, it makes for an interesting story - angsty, sexually tumultuous, edgy and complicated.

The secondary characters are all interesting and well developed. Ranya, Jesse’s PA, is as good a character as you will get in any book; let alone M/M where women are usually caricatures of actual woman. She's a strong, funny, loyal, well intentioned individual, who cares for Jesse and is open and honest with all her words, feelings and assistance.

Simone, Jesse's wife, is quite interesting, a rollercoaster of emotions. It would be easy to jump up and down and say she was slighted. Yet she wasn't, she knows Jesse is gay and encourages him to take up with Anthony, but still I felt for her. Jesse tried hard to make up for his inabililty to be her husband, his worry about her health, his guilt at being gay. Yes, he allowed his ucle to manipulate his marriage for the campaign, but Jesse had no premeditation, he was politically naieve. They both knew where their marriage stood and she constantly reaffirmed her willingness to proceed with the campaign. To me Simone was like a metaphor for Jesse's campaign in general – something/someone he cared about, wanted to do right by, but he couldn’t be himself, and that never ends well. Not because he wasn't well intentioned, but because of reality.

Not many openly gay politicians around, most come out later on, if at all. The fault lies with the system and people's closed minded attitudes to homosexuality. Also, even though there was a desire to be progressive, Simone struggled to get 100% behind him. Saying everything is "OK", or you really do support someone/something is not the same as it actually being "OK" in reality - this is true of Simone/the party/voters.

Jesse's uncle, Roger, was the consummate politician, no moral compass, use anything and anyone to get elected. In other words the end always justifies the means. I didn’t like him but his character was spot-on. Roger was a political animal and he wasn’t apologetic about it.

This book is so well written - the language, the flow, the storyline - which makes it a joy to read. It's an absolute page turner and all the characters are very much real and three-dimensional. Every chapter was deliberately assigned to one MC, to progress the story from their persepctive, and their voices are uniquely character specific - Jesse and Anthony could not be confused, even if you somehow couldn't read whose chapter it was. I love good characterization, I always want it and make no excuses for that fact. I got it in spades here. The last book I read of L A Witt's, The Closer You Get, I also enjoyed, but I lamented the lack of the 2nd MC’s POV. Here I got just what I wanted and it was fabulous.

I highly recommend Where There's Smoke. I'm definitely buying more of L A Witt's books based on the two I've read.

Last Stop, Lou Harper

An OK book, not bad, not great, in the middle.

- Review by Kazza K 

An interesting book. I sort of had a love hate affair with the writing and the characters.

Sam and Jay were interesting enough, but they weren't developed thoroughly for me to fully connect with them or feel them as a pair. The writing was staccato. Not bad in some ways but annoying in others -sometimes I wanted to jump to the next scene, sometimes I wanted a bit more information. There was no great twist in the plot, you knew where it was going but I went along willingly for the journey.

If you like two guys on the run, an older/younger guy combination, some BDSM (not my favourite portrayal of BDSM in this book), no-nonsense dialogue, then this may be the book for you.

Beyond Complicated, Mercy Celelste

 

An angsty, emotional and erotic book, with twists. One of my absolute favourite books.

- Review by Kazza K

Just a brief note. I'm very picky on psychologial aspects of a book. I can't help it. Human nature and behaviour are something I know. As well as erotic, BC is quite complex, in terms of the protagonists, particularly Liam, but the whole dynamic is complicated. I cannot fault the characters behaviours and attitudes, given their lives, what they've been through, and what they want. It is extremely well written.

Well, this book is definitely perfectly named. The lives of the characters are well and truly beyond complicated; which makes the journey interesting for the reader.

It's hard to review without spoliers so be aware.

It's Liam POV in this book. When we meet him he's working as middle management in insurance. It's a living, but that's it. He has a son, Kel, 17 years younger than him, his mother was 'kocked-up' when they were young. Kel is now 21. Liam is typical of a non-custodial parent having been through an acrimonious separation - he sees Liam weekends and when it suits the primary parent, in this case Kel's mother. He has also been syphoned of every last dollar from day one to support Kel, and Liam's family have been fianancially milked as well. So, no pleasantries there. The step father, who lives with Kel and his mother and siblings, is a sponging, nasty bastard, and the biological mother a bitch of the highest order. The whole family dynamic is dyfuctional with a capital D. Complication one.

Kel is having dinner with Liam one night and, unbeknown to Liam, he has organised for him to meet his new boyfriend/lover. Liam is blindsided by Kel's new guy, Seth, as he is his ex partner, both personally and professionally, of 6 rather intense years - another complication.

Seth, the other MC, is now a lawyer. Not really loving what he does for a living either. He, too, is stunned because, in spite of how close Liam and he were, he never told Seth he had a child; plus, really, what are the odds of you fucking your previous significant others's son? Yet further complications. Liam runs out, Seth catches up, sparks fly, then all kinds of complicated breaks loose -

'Jesus Christ, I'd fucked my son's boyfriend. Bareback. On my living room sofa. Could my life get any more complicated?'

This starts a chain of events that are better left to the reader than attempts by me to fully explain here. There are amazing emotional rollercoaster rides, complete with corkscrews, in this book that are best ridden by the individual to be fully savoured.

I want to say that both Liam and Seth infuriated me at times, but they also sucked me in and embedded themselves under my skin. I wanted to slap Liam for some of his behaviour, I wanted to hold him on other occasions, and Seth, you think you know someone so well and not get what you did might have been upsetting, or wrong? That your partner wasn't acting? You also don't get the right to be angry with Liam walking away, Seth. But, boy, you loved with a passion, so, yeah, like I said....embedded. Kel was a good 'kid', a manchild really, who continued to be put through the emotional wringer by adults that should have known better. I wanted to hug Kel. Let me tell you this book is not farfetched, these 'adults' exist in real life in droves.

I liked the dialogue, the language. In bed there was a porn quality at times, not always, between Liam and Seth, but you know what? In some significant, shape changing years of both Liam and Seth, sex is what they did, what they knew as a couple, as a business, thus it fit perfectly; plus, it was sexy as all get out. Which leads me to the fact that this book is erotically supercharged as in 'I need a cigarette now, for god's sake' (and I don't smoke). I loved the 3 MC's together, particularly in bed, it's fiction, I don't give a damn about who was what to whom, and this, too, is complicated, you need to read the book.

The characterizations were pretty darn good. Seth, who idolized Liam as his mentor, lover and significant other during his 20's 'til now. Kel, as a good looking, outwardly confident young man with a sensitive inner core; and a strength that comes from having to be older than your years; because you had to parent your parents and siblings. Plus, Kel had a unique love for Liam borne out of seeing one man as a constant in the sea of turmoil that was his life. Liam has a cracked veneer just waiting to break, right from the first passage you could sense it, and he was was intricately multi-layered. Liam's behaviour post breakdown is typical, once you have an emotional trauma resulting in a psychotic break you can find it pretty hard to get back to who you were before, if you ever do.

There is much to this book - it is erotic as sin itself, some things are not what they seem, it has some beautiful, quoteworthy paragraphs and phrases. I also believe it will evoke a varied and strong response from readers on the characters motives, feelings and behaviours, which just enhances the quality of the writing that bit more.

The ending was satisfying for me. I wouldn't mind another book, to see how they're doing, goodness knows there's enough material to do a sequel; if not I'll live with the ending here because it was good, realistic.

I loved Beyond Complicated but, in full disclsoure mode, I have discovered that I really rather like Mercy Celeste as a writer, I instictively just seem to get her writing. This is just another example of what I mean.  I definitely recommend Beyond Complicated as a top-notch read.

About Me

About Kazza K

I've decided, really it was at the unanimous decree of my family, who are sick of my never ending, unsolicited, one sided book discussions with them, to have a blog about things I'm passionate about - reading, life's observations and therapy. My family are wonderful and put up with my OCD moments when nothing happens because I'm deeply engrossed in a book.

First of all, I'm a therapist with over 20 years experience in private practice. Without being specific, I have degrees that allow me to work in what is more than just a job for me, it's something I love. I work with all things human nature, with special interest in - family and relationships, sex therapy, parenting, abuse, grief, PTSD, depression, anxiety, LGBT issues and advocacy. Apart from being a therapist, I have been involved in research - social, medical, communication, and human resouce management. I also consult to companies on Industrial Relations - in regards to legislation, profiling/ hiring staff and performance reviews.

Unfortunately, for health reasons, I work in a semi-retired capacity now, but I'll work until I get carried out in a pine box. From a silver lining perspective, this has given me time to reconnect with books, apart from those that are purely work related. Over the years I have read the classics and what many consider to be literary masterpieces, however, after discovering the sexier type of romance now available, and then the even spicier erotica, they have become my great loves. I specifically enjoy erotica/romantica with an emphasis on  LGBT, menage, BDSM, the psychological, thrillers, and some paranormal. Anything within the framework of sexy, erotic writing and I'm in. I step outside, occasionally, if the writing looks interesting or I like the author, but rarely these days.

I wanted to state the above about myself because it explains why, when I review books, they may be drier reviews and more concentrated on the psychological than other people's. If the book has angst, the character's have issues and there's meat, I'll latch on and analyze the crap out of it. I'm here to tell you there is very little written in fiction that I haven't seen, either in my personal life (I've lived a very colourful life) or in my practice. I've experienced and seen much, I'm sure this will continue to be the case.

This blog will contain my book reviews and probably some thoughts about life in general - the good, the crappy and the random. There will also be some therapy moments as well, but it's not a therapy spot, and I'm not here in the capacity of a therapist, just so I'm clear. I'm just meshing a couple of my loves together. Nothing I say in relation to these issues is to be taken as advice in any way shape or form.

I have been a beta reader (that one alone deserves a blog, what an...'interesting' experience), but I am not a writer, have never aspired to be, and I have no affiliations with any publishers or writers. I just review things as honestly as I can, as I see them - I pay for my own books. I find it cathartic writing reviews after a book, especially ones I relate to and love, or if it's burrowed under my skin; it's like supervision for therapists, only in this case it's venting after reading a book.

Anyhow, I have never blogged before, I'm not overly tech savvy, and I am fumbling my way through this right now, so let's see what happens shall we. It doesn't really matter as this blog is primarily for me, to stretch my grey matter, and release my inner ramblings. If you like, come on in and have a look-see as I, hopefully, develop this blog. Please join in if you are open minded, free thinking and have something to say that's informed, or you feel particularly passionate about something. If you wish to comment on my reviews or ramblings go for it.
KazzaK